Lolita has written a letter on an internet forum on which she has explained her problem and asked for an advice: “I live in America for almost five years, so probably the next year i will get the citizenship. So here I would like to tell my story. It is very difficult to live in here, when you have the total absence of knowledge of the language, I mean my mother. She lives in Kiev, she is forty eight years old she is married, and looks perfect. She is very miserable with my step father as he is treating her not well at all, she has a lot of moments when she was thinking about a divorce, but all those times he was threatening her with something and she was giving up in the idea. Now I am looking for a husband for my mother here in America, a lot of people reply our letters our, because I write to them on her behalf, and eventually from her profile, which i created and I guide. So I am trying to explain to her that she cannot meet with a potential groom in her own hometown, because if someone would decide to visit her and she will play with him, i mean came-left all of the sudden, didn’t invite to her place, than eventually nothing will happen. I told her many times that it is much better dating on a neutral territory or to organize the meeting at my place, but she thinks that women are smart, so there wouldn’t happen anything bad if the meeting will happen in her hometown, so i am asking for an advice how to explain to my mother the thing that she should listen to me at least a little.
It is very difficult explaining something to the person until the moment when this person will get the chance to see everything with her own eyes, and being based on her own experience. Your mother should decide, what is there that she wants in this life, to suffer with her husband or to look for love in a foreign country, of course it is very difficult to let go on the world she got used to live in, and to start the adventure of getting a new husband abroad. And the longer i live in America the more i understand the fact that happiness in reality exists in the heart of each person, it all depends on the way how we see the world.
Of course for a woman it is very important to be with a beloved man who is a very caring and understanding man, but looking for such a man takes time, and a lot of efforts, it is very nice the fact that this daughter tries helping her mother to find her happiness, but she should understand that she would not be able to make her happy until the moment when she will want that herself. She can share her experience and advices with her if she is ready to realize everything you her daughter is talking about, or Lolita can help her feeling the taste of a different life, but she won’t be able to do it, until her mother would really want that, she should make the choice on her own, eventually until she is married she should not accept any visits at her own house, but eventually if the meeting will be somewhere in Cyprus it will not help the situation either, as what she will tell to that man? That she is married? And how he will take this news? And in the case if she will not tell him, she will simply start her new relationship from lying which is not good at all. Of course we do not know the entire situation, so we cannot prevent the events, but that is an advice based on the situations that ever happened to over people. So if Lolita’s mother will make the final decision and realize that she wants to change her life, than Lolita should be there by her side in order to help her with everything, but until the moment when she will make this decision, there won’t be anyone who would be able to help in that. In order to understand things, you need to make your own mistakes and learn from them.